Countdown to Love ~ Day 10

If you missed yesterday's post featuring Love Link #9,
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Love Link 10 ~ Be A Soft Place to Fall 
 

 

Your bond with one another will deepen the more you are able to check in with one another and tell the truth about what you are experiencing. Trust builds, knowing that you can confide your ego struggles with your partner and not be judged or ill regarded. Because you have agreed to be in relationship with each other as the Spirits you are, the receiving of your truth telling can be greeted with unconditional love and acceptance. You will begin to appreciate each other more and more and, in time, you will become for each other what has been called “a soft place to fall.”

To be your partner’s soft place is a sacred act of trust. It means that you can come to that person with any issue or feeling. It means that no matter what, you are fully present to each other. You are both open to all that will be revealed and your love does not dwindle because of this deep sharing. To have this at the core of your relationship may be the greatest and most healing gift of all.

Make sure that in the busyness of your days you take time to be each other’s soft place. Create opportunities to be available to one another. In a world that continues to challenge us emotionally in so many ways, it is crucial that we stay open and attentive to each other as much as possible.

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Countdown to Love ~ Day 9

If you missed yesterday's post featuring Love Link #8, 
read it here.

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Love Link 9 ~  Check In with Each Other

Agree to take time daily to check in with each other and see how you’re feeling, noting the level of your vibration at that moment. First thing in the morning, at day’s end, or anytime you might notice your partner struggling with ego are ideal opportunities to connect with him or her. Checking in sends the strongest possible messages of love and support to your partner, messages of “I care about you,” and “I am here for you,” “We’re in this together.” This, maybe more than any other Love Link, will allow you to experience Perfect Love.

Using Spirit talk (Love Link 1), encourage your partner to share his or her thoughts and feelings. Remember, that by asking, you are opening yourself up to another growth experience; another opportunity to observe your Ego Operating System, to talk about what the broadcast is saying and how it’s making you feel. It invites you to be a true partner as well, to listen with an open heart and to hold a space for you both to learn and grow. 

Checking in also prevents toxic buildup in your relationship. The ego loves to hold onto hurts and disappointments and pile them one on top of another to create a huge tower of negative feelings. We call this “stacking.” It’s as if the ego is making a case for itself, gathering evidence to prove a point or right a perceived wrong. When you check in with each other on a daily basis, stacking is much less likely to happen. Mis-perceptions can be immediately examined so your connection remains strong.

You can also check in by asking yourselves “How are WE doing?” Take time to discuss impressions of how you are doing as a couple. Ask, “Are we connected?” If you’re not, refer back to any of the previous Love Links and get connected! This is a great opening for discussing anything that may have been neglected up until now. If you determine that your connection is thriving, honor your relationship and congratulate one another for the good work you are doing together.

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Countdown to Love ~ Day 8

If you missed yesterday's post featuring Love Link #7, 
read it here.

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Love Link 8 ~  Create Sacred Space

Do the two of you have a special place set aside where you can relate on a higher level? With all that can distract you or lower your vibration on a daily basis, an established sacred space can support your connection with one another. This can be a bedroom, den, or meditation room.

Examine the energy of this room and become aware of its ability to intensify or to erode your connection. Your bedroom may be the best place for this, so take the time to make it invitational and nurturing. Create a supportive atmosphere for lovemaking. Jointly choose items and furnishings that promote feelings of peace and love. Remove clutter, piles, and unwanted items and add elements of comfort through color, aromatherapy, candles, and music. Make this a special place for the two of you to go to remember your Oneness.

Maintaining this space is just as important as creating it. Jointly make your bed together. Keep it tidy and teeming with positive energy. (Clear out negative energy when needed, especially after a disagreement of any sort.) Keep it current by introducing new items (decor) of meaning to you both. These actions create a positive intention, which reminds you that the space you share is an important part of who you are together and that you desire to grow in intimacy.

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Countdown to Love ~ Day 7

If you missed yesterday's post featuring Love Link #6,
read it here.



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Love Link 7 ~  Do What You Love

 

 

Create a list of all the things you enjoy doing together as a couple. Do you recall the list you created for yourself in Chapter 3? What are your commonly shared interests and hobbies? What are you both passionate about? You’ve probably noticed that when you are sharing these special times together, you feel amazingly good. That’s because your individual vibrations and your connection as partners is very high when you are doing what you both love.

To stay connected, engage in these activities on a regular basis. They form a very important bond between you and they nurture your partnership, so be sure to make time for them. When they are neglected because of inattention or busyness, you will certainly feel the effects—a low vibration or feelings of edginess with one another. Some days, staying connected does take special effort, and you will need to consciously choose things to do to elevate your vibration as a couple. 

Keep your list handy so you can refer to it later on if you have a relationship storm. This practice will help you come back together more quickly too!

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Countdown to Love ~ Day 6

If you missed yesterday's post featuring Love Link #5,
read it here.



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Love Link 6 ~  Meditate Together

 

Sit side by side in meditation to raise your vibration together. This can be done in any number of ways:

Select and focus on an image together. Create a joint list of possible symbols, pictures, or memories you share that hold a high vibration for the two of you—activities you enjoy doing together, places you have been, and things, and qualities that are important to you. 

Choose a phrase or mantra that you repeat silently together. Some ideas are: “I am Love,” “We are Love,” “We are One,” and “I am peace,” etc.

Select your own personal image or mantra to focus on, for each of you may have unique formulas that raise your vibration. For example: one of you might be particularly drawn to nature images, the other to words or symbols.  

You can think of these mental getaways as mini-vacations you take with one another. If you keep going back to these “places” in your meditation time, you will continually nurture your relationship and restore connection if it has become distant. 

Meditating together can also enhance your creativity. It can deepen your ability to listen to your inner workings, as well as to listen more effectively to your partner. It can provide insights into lessons you are learning together, and offer tips and tools that you can use as a couple to stay connected or overcome difficulty. It opens you up to greater healing, both personally and as a couple. 

Of course, meditating is also another wonderful way to tap into the Oneness that you are. You can lose any sense of separateness when you join your energies in this way. What a beautiful way to spend quality time together!

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Countdown to Love ~ Day 5

If you missed yesterday's post featuring Love Link #4, 
read it here.

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Love Link 5 ~  Show and Tell

Offer loving words and gestures to one another. As a couple you can form agreements about using loving communication as a part of your Foundation. For example, sarcasm is not a compassionate way to express one’s self to your Beloved. You can agree to speak with one another without that element present. You can also agree not to verbally attack, insult, or mock one another. These are very low-vibration communication qualities. 

It is perfectly acceptable to discuss these things as your relationship begins and set some intentions to speak lovingly. The way you talk to one another truly is a matter of choice. Egos attack, Love doesn’t. Egos yell and scream, Love doesn’t. Set the intention to follow the course set by Spirit and choose the loving response again and again. 

You will find that when your vibration is high, when you are operating as your Spirit self, speaking and acting lovingly is natural. You do not want to do it any other way. It is a manifestation of the true Love, joy, and compassion you’re feeling inside.

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Countdown to Love ~ Day 4

If you missed yesterday's post featuring Love Link #3, 
read it here.



• If you haven't received your free book yet, Perfect Love: How to Find Yours and Make It Last Forever, you can get it now. 

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Love Link 4 ~  Loving Touch

Nurture your physical connection and keep it strong. Loving touch, whether passionate or tender, is one of the most important ways to enhance your connection. Your physicality is not separate from your spirituality. In fact, we often experience the Divine, and our partner as the Beloved, through our senses: touch, sound, sight, and smell. The body is the primary vehicle through which we have a “felt” experience of what it means to be loved.  

When you are operating as your Spirit self, you naturally outpour love and affection to others through kind, compassionate words or through loving touch: kissing, hugging, or making love. Both giving and receiving love in these ways raises your vibration. It is only your ego self that withholds affection and kindness. It is your ego that stifles passion and excitement.

Use your physical connection as a centering exercise. If you are feeling distant, lie down together in a comfortable place side by side, holding hands. Relax and take deep breaths together. This can re-establish your connection, helping you remember who you are together. Feel the energy begin to shift toward the positive. In this way, you connect with your partner’s energy field. The human aura can expand to about ten feet, so to deepen your connection, get close—the closer the better. 

Intimate physical contact can also move us toward feeling a sense of Oneness. If your body/mind/spirit connection is especially deep at any given moment, you may feel no separation at all, but a gentle blending of your bodies, as if your skin and bones have disappeared and there is no difference between the two of you. This is a profound experience and one that many couples report when high-vibration states are reached simultaneously.

 Eye contact can deepen your physical intimacy as well, and draw you toward one another. It has been said that the eyes are the window of the soul. Focusing on the soul behind your partner’s eyes can rekindle your memory of why this person is your Beloved.

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Countdown to Love ~ Day 3

If you missed yesterday's post featuring Love Link #2, 
read it here. 
  
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Love Link 3 ~ Sit Higher Up in the Bleachers

Taking the time to view your relationship from a higher perspective can be very helpful in maintaining a strong connection. You can do this by sitting higher up in the bleachers.

Using the metaphor of a football game, imagine yourselves sitting in the first row, where all you can see are the players, bodies in uniforms crashing into one another. You’re not really sure what’s happening, as everything’s a blur of movement when you’re seated so near the activity. Move up higher in the bleachers and you can see the entire playing field. You can watch the maneuvers, the progress, the losses, and the victories. Your relationship is much like that football game. When you are so close to the action, it’s difficult to see what’s really going on.

It’s important that you keep in mind the bigger picture of your relationship, from a spiritual perspective. Doing so is a vibration-raising act in itself. When your vibration is high and you’re viewing your relationship through Spirit eyes, you can see your day-to-day interactions as the learnings they are. Take time to reflect upon how you are still getting caught up in certain ego broadcasts. It’s ideal to do this both alone and together. Look for the ego maneuvers and see how it invites you to be a player.

Take time to reflect upon how you’re growing as individuals. Note your progress as a couple. Ask yourselves how well you’re doing as Soul Sailors.

Being observers from as high up in the bleachers as you can go helps you see your “ego plays” and the fouls. Every time you stop and engage in this process, your vibration as a couple will rise. Your connection deepens. Applaud your growth and set new intentions to build upon what you’ve learned.

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Countdown to Love ~ Day 2

 
If you missed yesterday's post featuring Love Link #1, read it here.
  
• If you haven't received your free book yet, Perfect Love: How to Find Yours and Make It Last Forever, you can get it now. 

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Love Link 2 ~ Remember the Love

The two of you fell in love for a reason: to companion one another on your journeys to connect with your Spirit selves. In that, you are one another’s Beloved.

If you find yourself beginning to feel distant from one another, take time to “remember the Love.” Recall your first meeting, your initial attraction, the thrill you felt in the early stages of your relationship. Reflect upon the unique gifts of your relationship and the great goodness it has brought into your lives. Offer thanks for its awakening presence.           

Check in with yourself also—regularly—to determine how you are treating your partner. Are you treating him or her like your Beloved? Are you nurturing, supportive, a good listener? Are you feeling generous toward him or her? Compassionate?

Your ego self will naturally want to focus in on what’s wrong in your relationship, not what’s right. It will want to spotlight your partner’s irritating qualities and what is lacking. This is what a human ego does best: it tries to separate the two of you, making your partner seem less desirable, even wrong for you. It will take conscious effort on your part to rise above such thinking and remember why you have come together, to grow, to move beyond the ego connection and experience Perfect Love. Accept the fact that your ego will try to manipulate you to believe your relationship is less than perfect. Connect with your Spirit self and your partner’s Spirit self as often as you can. Remember who you are to one another. 

Excerpted from from Perfect Love: How to Find Yours and Make It Last Forever by Brad and Jan Lundy. Heart to Heart Press. 2006. All Rights Reserved. 

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