Video Blog: Helpful Tip for Staying Present

Hello again, friends,

The next entry in my video blog series is here.

It offers a technique I use to bring myself back to the present moment so I can be HERE instead of THERE - and feel more peaceful inside myself when I do.

I hope you find it helpful!


Awakened Living with Jan Lundy: A Helpful Hint for Living in the Present Moment from Jan Lundy on Vimeo.

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Unique Growth Opportunities for You. Online, but intimate!

I'm a practical Chick and I'm passionate about finding and sharing what works—

what brings us peace or joy; profound love or enhanced health.

I want to know the practices and possess the tools that will create the life I desire for myself.

Do you?

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With metta (lovingkindness) for you and all beings,

Jan

"I am beginning to love myself again. 

I've been given tools and resources to live a more calm, kind, and mindful life. 
Thank you, Jan!"

C.B. Minnesota, 

For the Love of Women

"For as long as I can remember I have had a love affair with Holy Women."

This, friends, is the opening line in my book, Your Truest Self. 

It's the opening line because it may be the most important thought in the book. It affirms the deep, deep longing I had to live a sacred life—to be and feel "holy"—which I learned upon doing my research meant nothing more than being "whole."

In the words of Abraham Joshua Heschel, "Just to be is a blessing, Just to live is holy." Since my search for holiness began, I have learned something very important: That it is in our living and being that holiness arrives, not upon the wings of a great wind, but within the gentle breath of life that moves through us. We need do nothing special to call ourselves holy women, only take a first step, no matter whether sturdy or faltering, toward our truest selves.

It is our life's purpose to embrace the totality of who we are—wholeness—pure and simple. For "holiness" and "wholeness" come from the same root word, have the same origin, and to accept one is to gain the other.

When we acknowledge our sacred source, we will begin to recognize ourselves as the glorious women we are and embark on the ultimate journey toward feeling holy and whole once again.

This is the journey I have found myself on for the past 16 years. It has been a profound journey of "reclaiming myself as sacred," and learning to celebrate my feminine self. I give thanks for this journey and what I have learned about life, about myself, along the way.

I have had a wonderful time this past month gathering up the essays, poems, and artwork to create an entire "magazine" dedicated to this theme of "Celebrating the Feminine." It is now completed and you can find it here. (The March issue of Buddha Chick Life.)

In creating it, I was newly reminded of how deep the wounds can be within women—wounds that have been inflicted because their feminine self has been discounted or squelched. There is much healing yet to be done. I was reminded of how many women long for a uniquely feminine spirituality—and for the desire to live this openly, without apology or embarrassment. 

I was reminded all over again how much we need to celebrate ourselves as women.

So besides pulling together an entire Issue on how we can acknowledge and grow into our whole feminine selves (with the help of over a dozen fabulous writers), I contributed my own thoughts on this...

In my Editorial: "A Feminine Feast"

And in an article:  "Every Woman Needs Room and Space to Grow"

I hope you will enjoy them—and the entire theme, "Celebrating the Feminine."

May you never forget that healing and wholeness is your birthright, as well as your destiny.

In summary, the words of Jean Shinoda Bolen, MD:

"Untappped source of peace,
The only real hope
Is to draw upon the collective wisdom of women."

(from her poem, "Untapped Source of Peace," which can be found here.) 

I believe it is time for us to remember our divine origin and potential, to to live from our fullness and fill the world with the light from our radiance. May we join hands and hearts and live as our truest selves. For when we do, the world will never be the same.  

Blessings, 

Jan

 

(Image "Flying into Spring" courtesy of artist Mara Friedman, NewMoonVisions.com 

Photo image freedigitalphotos.net)

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Forgive, Let Go, Move On

One of the thornier issues of life is forgiveness.

We associate forgiveness with giving in, relinquishing a hurt or source of anger for the sake of peacemaking. In doing so, it may feel like—in the forgiving—we are giving up a part of ourselves to rectify the situation. In this case, forgiveness may look quite prickly. What if we could shift our perception of forgiveness, revealing the beauteous gift within, a rose of our own making? Can we look at the act of forgiveness in a new light?

Often in my life, I've found myself stubbornly holding to my point of view when a point of conflict would arise. It was so important to be right! I'd dig in my heels. Not surprisingly arguments would ensue, for if one or both partners passionately holds to what they believe is "right," there is little room for forgiveness to find its way in. Grudges and resentment build, and, over time, a great sludgy mess is created.

Another pattern I often found myself in was to tire of the ensuing conflict and just plain give in to get it over with. To self-sacrifice what I knew to be true for me for the sake of peace did not result in peace either, but more resentment. Over time, either of these patterns could be quite destructive to any relationship.

Today I view the act of forgiveness much differently. It is no longer, "giving in" or "giving up." It is "letting go." Letting go of my need to be right. Letting go of my need to have the last word. Letting go of my need to convince someone of my point of view. And most importantly, it is not letting someone else off the hook.

This seems to me to be the primary roadblock to a new understanding of forgiveness. We believe, on some level, that by forgiving someone we are letting them off easy. They have hurt us or committed what we perceive to be a wrongful act. So if we forgive them, it somehow condones what they did or diminishes the power of the act in some way.

A friend of mine, Eldonna Edwards Bouton, authored a book about forgiveness:
Loose Ends: A Journaling Tool for Tying Up the Incomplete Details of Your Life and Heart. She describes the act of forgiving in this way:

"Imagine the person that you cannot forgive as someone who once held a fishing pole. They've set down the pole and gone on to other things, perhaps even hurting others. In the meantime, you are still floundering in the murky waters of the past, snagged on their hook. As long as you are spending precious energy resenting, hating and being angry, you will be unable to swim freely. What I am asking you to do is gently remove the hook that keeps you entangled in the past "

In this way, forgiveness is not letting someone else off the hook, it is letting yourself off the hook. Isn't that a wonderful way to look at forgiveness? Knowing this, couldn't it be much easier to forgive someone? If the situation in question is not about being right, or about retribution, but about personal freedom, wouldn't that make all the difference in the world? For me, it has.

Today, when I find myself experiencing a difference of opinion with someone (especially about a perceived hurt), I have a choice how to look at it. I can expend emotional energy trying to prove myself right or make someone else see the "wrongness" of what they did. Or I can let the situation go, release myself from its emotional intensity, and move on.

This is not to say that in many situations it is not right to stand up for what we know to be right and true. Or that justice should be served; wrongdoing brought to light. That goes without saying. But in many other situations, we waste precious time and energy attempting to make someone see the error of their ways, because after all, can we ever really change anybody?
 
The only person we can change or have control over is us, and when we engage in forgiveness we
are gifting ourselves with personal freedom. By forgiving, I am free to let go and move on to the next enlightening experience. Seen in an even broader light, an act of forgiveness is an act of self-healing.

Granting forgiveness to another may be the greatest act of self-love and self-healing we can perform.

Forgiveness is not an easy thing by any means. But by not forgiving, we continue to add to our own sack of pain. Why not lighten the load and lay down those grudges and resentments of great weight, and walk more lightly through life? One of my goals in 2010 is to forgive any and all who need forgiving in my life. In doing so, I will dance through this new year, a much lighter, brighter woman.

How about you?

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts ...  


(Image courtesy of www.chrishallsculptures.co.uk)



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You're invited! Beginning Sunday, January 3 at my other blog, Awake Is Good, I'll be hosting a 28-Day Meditation Challenge. 


If you are someone who has struggled with meditation, or has difficulty staying faithful to the process, join our virtual sangha for tips, insights, and support. I"ll have special guest experts, book giveaways, a timely free teleconference, and more!


Stillness and greater inner peace can be yours. It's just a click away!

Releasing Your Negative Story

Perhaps you've noticed people love to tell their "stories." By a story I mean a “litany of sorrows.” Perhaps you've even done this yourself.

They'll list their current problems or history of hurts. They may label or identify themselves by one of these injuries: "I am a recovering Catholic." "My husband left me." "I am an abuse survivor." And on the litany goes. It seems very important that we (as the listener) understand all the pain and suffering they’ve been subjected to throughout their lives.

By witnessing this (and observing myself doing it on occasion), I've come to the awareness that this may be nothing more than our ego self desiring to be acknowledged, to be heard. The ego likes attention, even thrives on pity. It sends out broadcast after broadcast, urging us to speak our litany of sorrows aloud to whomever we need to bring closer to us. By speaking our litany, we receive a payoff of some kind.  Perhaps it’s an, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” a hug, or perceived acceptance.

Granted, an initial expression of our litany can foster healing when we've been hurt; understanding, even compassion on the part of others. But to repeat our negative stories again and again may not. Instead, we create a prison of our own making. By continually reliving our negative stories, we may disempower ourselves. We stay small, trapped in hurt, unable to embody a bright, new version of ourselves.

Reliving our negative stories also causes low vibration feelings to predominate. As we re-experience the bad feelings associated with our history, our vibration may spiral downward. If we focus on these feelings we have no energy to think higher, or to move ahead. Low-vibration thoughts and feelings take us nowhere. Again, we find ourselves stuck.

I have come to identify this process as “running your tape.”  Running our tape, telling the same pain-filled story over and over again, is nothing more than an Ego Broadcast. Nothing more than a blast from a noisy inner radio station that wants your attention, and the attention (and sympathy) of others. There must come a time when each of us begins to choose differently. We can say to our ego and its broadcast, “No thanks. I’m choosing something better for myself!”

Making a new choice such as this is a profound moment of awakening. Now, we can begin to choose our happiness, our inner peace, our joy. We de-select being a victim, listening to the tape, reciting the litany of sorrows, and by doing so, we choose LIFE. We are now choosing who we want to be in the next moment, instead of it being chosen for us.

For our healing and growth in the Spirit, we must choose to let go of anything that keeps us disconnected from our spirit selves, especially our litany of sorrows. Our spirit’s (and the Divine's) greatest desire is for us to be physically and emotionally free to be all that we can be. Perhaps, for you, dear reader, that time has come.  So here are the steps for letting go, very simply put:

Become the Observer
Begin to notice the thoughts that you’re thinking. Pay attention to the tape that is running in your mind, the one that causes you to relive your story of hurt and pain. Notice how bad you feel when you listen to that story. Notice how the low vibration of remembering and repeating the story affects the quality of your daily life. Is it keeping you angry, bitter or drained?

Uncover Why You Are Running Your Tape
Be honest with yourself and ask: What is it I’m hoping to gain by telling my story again? What is the payoff for me? Do I want someone to like me, to feel sorry for me, or give me affection?  Hold yourself in compassion while you are discerning this. This is a very big step toward disconnecting from the ego and its power over you.

Make a New Choice
Acknowledge the tape that is running about your story, then choose to release it. Admit that holding onto it might be keeping you from moving forward. Then, let it go. Continue to notice when the tape is running (anytime you have a strong urge to speak your litany to someone), then make a conscious decision not to speak it in that moment. Again, let it go.

In time, this process will get easier.  The temptation to speak your woundedness will come less and less often as you keep your vibration infused with positive new thoughts and feelings, focusing on the good choices you are making for yourself.

It requires a strong commitment to live as our truest selves, especially when we have been governed (up until now) by our human operating system, by the ego and its negative orientation. Personal happiness, meaningful work, success, true love, are latent within each of us, housed in our Spirit identity. The key to bringing them up to the surface of our being so they are more prominent in our everyday lives requires vigilance.  We must continually become the observer of our own thoughts and feelings, then make appropriate choices to reorient ourselves toward thoughts, feelings, and actions that align us with our highest selves, the Divine, and others. We must choose Spirit again and again.  

When we do, life is no longer a frustrating game, but a Spirit-filled adventure in BECOMING.

As always, I welcome your thoughts ...


And in 2010, may you release any story that might be keeping you from living as YOUR truest self!


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You're invited! Beginning Sunday, January 3 at my other blog, Awake Is Good, I'll be hosting a 28-Day Meditation Challenge. 


If you are someone who has struggled with meditation, or has difficulty staying faithful to the process, join our virtual sangha for tips, insights, and support. I"ll have special guest experts, book giveaways, a timely free teleconference, and more!


Stillness and greater inner peace can be yours. It's just a click away!

Telling the Truth Brings Healing and JOY

"A basic truth is if you want respect you must first respect yourself. Then once you have done this you can authentically respect others."

~Suzanne Toro

If you have not stopped over to read my post featuring a very special guest at Awake is Good, please do so. You will absolutely not want to miss the empowering words of author, Suzanne Toro. Her new book, Bare Naked Bliss, is excellent and I was so pleased to interview her.

She's also giving away two copies of this powerful guide for healing, for living with unlimited possibilities. C'mon over and make a comment! Awake is Good.

Meet A Woman of Peace and Music, Dudley Evenson

Please welcome a very special friend and guest who has played an important role in my spiritual journey. She is also one of the twelve "Holy Women" featured in Your Truest Self,  Dudley Evenson.

She is a multimedia producer, photographer, harpist and co-founder of the independent record label, Soundings of the Planet. Dudley and her husband, Dean, along with the Soundings Ensemble, create the most centering, peace-inducing music I have found. In fact, I do all my writing to their music.

In Your Truest Self, Dudley represents the fourth Transformational Truth: I Engage in Daily Practices That Nurture My Spirit. When I met Dudley, I learned that she has a morning spiritual practice that roots her in peace. This is what she does:

"Before I even get out of bed, I do a set of eye and breathing exercises. Part of that includes fifty tummy rubs in each direction, along with eye squinting and rapid breathing. Then I raise my arms and offer a prayer of gratitude for all my blessings and ask that I may be guided to be used in the highest possible way during the day to help heal this world."

Dudley also incorporates yoga, affirmations, and a walk in nature. Today, she share her views on affirmations, how they work, and why we may want to incorporate them into daily spiritual practice.

 CD Giveaway!
Make a comment here and be entered into a drawing to win either Dudley's new recording of empowering guided affirmations OR the Evenson's award-winning ambient music CD based on the chakras. Two winners will be chosen!

HOW TO USE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU DESIRE

by Dudley Evenson

Listening to the radio recently, I couldn’t help but notice how sad and bad the news was. I felt a knot of anxiety growing in my stomach as I tried to digest the constant barrage of bad news hitting me. Bad news paints pessimistic pictures of the world, coloring the content of our thoughts, affecting us all.

How can we overcome the tendency toward worry and negative thinking so rampant in modern life? How can we harness the power of affirmations to manifest our dreams and improve our lives?

To support and understand what affirmations are and how to use them to create a fulfilling and successful life, here are some common sense guidelines that will enhance their effectiveness.

An affirmation is a positive statement asserting that the goal to be achieved is already happening. It is a declaration to manifest a desired outcome. This desired way of being may seem far from the truth at the moment, but amazingly enough, with repetition and focused intention, it can become reality. Since the subconscious mind processes affirmations and suggestions as reality, it is important be aware of one’s thoughts and constantly edit out unwanted negative suggestions.

The fact is, we are constantly affirming in our mind what we believe. We can usually tell the quality of our subconscious mind by looking at the quality of our life. If we are not pleased with our life, we must look at the content of our mind to discover how we have been programming our existence to meet our belief structure.

The word ‘mantra’ in Sanskrit means ‘mind protection’ for it is through the use of a repeated phrase, prayer or affirmation that we can overcome the rampant thoughts and tape loops that tend to control us. By repeating a phrase over and over again, it becomes embedded in our subconscious mind and then the creative forces of the universe rally support to make it happen. In the negative aspect of the repetition principle, we experience inner ‘tape loops’ or ‘monkey mind’ that constantly replay a phrase or thought that is not in our best interests.

Affirmations only work when spoken in the present tense. The subconscious mind takes things very literally so if you say ‘I will be rich’ you will never experience prosperity in the present moment. It will always be just around the corner, in the elusive future.

Speaking affirmations out loud energizes them. Speaking them repeatedly creates habituation. Though the actual statement may be different from our current circumstance, when we put our feelings into words, we come closer to experiencing fulfillment of our desires. With perseverance and repetition, the words become a part of us and before long, we look around and realize we are actually achieving what we may have thought impossible only weeks or months before.

When we take hold of our thoughts and use affirmations regularly with an understanding of how they work, positive change is bound to occur in our lives. When we can truly visualize and feel the reality of the spoken word affirmation, we enter into a cooperative contract with the universe to make use of this powerful tool to manifest our highest dreams.

Have you used affirmations and to what success?

Dudley and I welcome your thoughts ... 

And don't forget to make a comment here to be entered into the CD Giveaway!

Bio: Dudley Evenson and her husband, Dean Evenson, are award-winning musicians, multi-media producers and co-founders of independent record label Soundings of the Planet which celebrates 30 years of creating Peace Through Music. They are sound healing pioneers and have produced over 60 albums since 1979. They teach workshops on meditation, music and healing. http://www.soundings.com

What Does Transparency Really Mean?

Last week when I launched this blog, I invited you into community. It has been my dream for a while now, since the days when I operated a women's center in the late 90's, to be involved in a day-to-day community of "women on the path." I also invited you to take a Vow of Transparency.


Within a few hours, I received a soulful e-mail from a dear, blogging friend who expressed some hesitancy about taking such a Vow. Here's a snippet of what she said:

"I'd love to join you over there. I just have one question before I do. How are you planning to keep it "girls only"? I ask only because if I'm invited to be transparent, I'll be 'all in', no holds-barred, capital "T" transparent. There are things I'll be comfortable sharing with a room full of female strangers, but less so if I know men may be sitting just on the other side of the curtain, if you know what I mean. If it's a public site that's open to men as well as women, I'll visit and share, but perhaps be less open to being completely transparent.


I guess I felt that, in order to participate fully and, yes, be transparent, I first had to share my concern. The internet is a big place with little in the way of secrets."


I am soooo happy she told me this. Because, you know what? By her sharing her heart in this way, she was being—Ta-Da!—transparent! Open, honest, real.

She did so tenderly, very aware of how I might perceive her concern as criticism, or put a damper on my enthusiasm about this new blog. In fact, it did the opposite. It bowled me over with excitement about our possibilities here. Thank you, C, for your transparency!

C's comment also made me realize that I must be very clear what I mean by "transparency."

Transparency, to me, does NOT mean spilling our guts to anyone who will listen. It does not mean filleting ourselves open in front of others—just because. It does not mean opening ourselves up to the extent that we risk being hurt or criticized.

I struggled with transparency while I was writing Your Truest Self. I did not know how much to say, how honest to be, what to share of my journey because I am a sensitive sort, and I really did not want to be bashed or shunned. I asked my dear mentor, Sue Patton Thoele, about this. (Sue represents Truth #5, "I Cultivate Compassion for Myself.") This is what she said:

"Don't cast your pearls before swine."

Then she added, "Of course, people are not swine, don't get me wrong. What this means is be open and honest with YOURSELF, but don't put yourself out there if it's going to cause damage to your soul."

I loved that!

In my writing, I chose not to cast all my pearls, just a few. Just enough to make my point. There are some things that are just too sacred, too tender or raw to be shared. It is absolutely fine to hold them close to our hearts and nurture them, savor them, in private.

The Vow of Transparency, as I speak of it in my book is this:

Take off your mask. Look in your own mirror, in the privacy of your sacred space.

Take a good long look at you.

Your wounds, your patterns, your compulsions & addictions.

Also look lovingly at your gifts, talents, your wonderful heart.

Your honesty will heal you.

Truly, without taking this Vow, we may never embrace our truest selves.

So here is the deal. I cannot keep lurkers away, peeping Toms and Thomasina's who want to read about our "stuff," so share wisely. I do believe with all my heart that we are creating a safe, sacred space here. And this is what I will do to safeguard it:

~I will monitor all comments and edit out those that may be harmful.


~Right now, comments are open. If I have to change this to foster safe sharing, I will.


~Each morning I intentionally create a sacred space for us here. I light a candle, say a prayer, put on healing music. I hold you in my heart and thought and then I write ...


~You can e-mail me personally about anything at all using the Contact button and I will answer you. Your correspondence will be held in strict confidence. As a certified spiritual director/mentor, I am bound by code of ethics, just like a therapist or clergy member. 

Is there anything else, in your opinion,  I can do to support our Vows?

So, now if you feel up to it, and you still haven't chosen a new "name" for yourself, and wish to formally join in, please do.  Click here to learn how. Once you do, your name will be logged in (in the right hand column on this home page) as "Voices in the Circle." This list is in place of a Blog Roll.

If you do not wish to do this, that is absolutely fine. No worries. Read on, make a comment, enjoy good company. And you can still take a Vow of Transparency, on your own if you'd like! We will support you—1000%.

I welcome your thoughts ....  and your presence here. 

Love and blessings,

Jan
She-Who-Lives-With-Ease