Thursday, February 18, 2010

From Where I Sit ~ A Big Lesson in Trust

Ah, Trust ...

As you may have read here previously, my beloved and I headed south—way south—from northern Michigan to southernmost Florida to set up a seasonal home as a result of his job.

We left our cozy nest without knowing where we'd land. It was an enormous leap of faith on our part that we would find a suitable place to live, in the right location, within our budget, all within a pretty tight time frame. We set up house temporarily with family and have been living in a spare bedroom, out of suitcases, complete with dog grandchildren. (Sorry, I have very little unconditional love for small barking, jumping dogs ... a growing edge, I know.)

After a week of staying in hotels and another week of spare bedroom living, I was more than ready to get settled in to a place of our own. A meeting with a realtor friend didn't turn up anything immediate. I could feel my trust level sinking. My husband buoyed me daily, reminding me that everything was in perfect order. All was well in the grander scheme of things.

Finally I stopping resisting. I stopped "looking" for the perfect place to live. I accepted this groundless feeling that had been gnawing at me for weeks. And I fell into the arms of complete Trust ...

The final push into "being in the nothing," as my husband fondly calls groundlessness, was a quote that came through my e-mail from a fellow blogger, Jenn (who's navigating her own quagmire of trust right now).

“Just stay in the center of the circle and let all things take their course.”  
~Lao Tzu

And to me this meant, stay in your center, where inner calm, faith, and trust naturally reside. Breathe ... So I did. Finally.

Guess what? I know you know what I am going to say next. 

On the same day that I did sink into complete trust, our realtor friend called and said she had a place for us. Turns out it was the same exact condo we had last year! It had not been available until NOW, as the previous tenants were having challenges and had to leave. This new little nest is ours—in a great location, for the exact dollar amount we needed, for as long as we want it. And it already feels like home because we spent part of last winter there. I love it. 

It also has most of the amenities that our Michigan nest has, though with Florida flair. Mucho peace and quiet. Sweet, considerate neighbors. It sits on a little pond full of wildlife visitors for me to watch while I sit on the lanai and write (including two alligators that swim by.) Access to a swimming pool and abundant trails to walk.

So today I am at peace after having navigated a quagmire of trust issues. Hallelujah!

How about you?

How adept are you at trusting the Universe to provide what you need? 

Do you clutch, moan, and gnash your teeth, or are you a smooth sailing chick who glides into the unknown with ease?

I'd love to hear!

P.S. This is a snapshot of our new nest. The photo above that is NOT of me, but I wish it was. I'm hoping it will be soon because it's been very chilly here. No beach or pool days yet. :-)

P.S.S. This quote came through my e-mail today from Gratefulness.org. It feels like the icing on the Trust cake. Enjoy!

Pray - period! Don't expect anything. Or better, expect nothing. 
Prayer cleanses us of expectations and allows holy will, providence, and life itself an entry. 
What could be more worth the effort -- or the noneffort?
~Thomas Moore


~~~~~
I'm heading "north" soon to Englewood, Florida. Join me at the Southwest Florida Women's Expo? I'll be speaking at 10:30 am, Sat. Feb. 20, on the topic of "Finding Your Courage, Speaking Your Truth." I'd love to meet you there! Learn more ...

9 comments:

Carolynn said...

I've noticed that God seems to keep me on the edge of my seat sometimes. I beginning to think he gets a kick out of seeing me sweat. In a good natured way, of course. *wry smile*

I'm getting much better at just relaxing into the knowledge that all things work out, as they should, in the proper time. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's why I have the job I currently have...working on commission. It's been a daily lesson in trusting that everything will work out. I don't always know how, but it always does.

Congratulations on your new 'old' place. There's more than coincidence going on there, I'd say.

(not too sure about the aligators though...)

Blessings,
Carolynn

Jan said...

Hi Carolynn,
Well you seem very in tune with all of this and fairly relaxed about life because of it. How wonderful for you! So much better than gripping the steering wheel of our lives in fear or worry!

Oh, the alligators are pretty harmless. Only about 4 feet long. If they get bigger than that, "they" transplant them elsewhere. Just a good idea to keep dogs and cats away from the edge of the water. :-)

Sharon said...

Your "new place" looks and sounds like it's just what you were looking for. That is so cool!

I am resigned to the evidence that things happen in their own time. I'm not happy about that but I'm not fighting it anymore, either. After so many months I am disappointed to still be in a place of waiting, which I haven't found to be particularly enriching or enlightening. "It is what it is" pretty much sums up my feelings.

Jan said...

Sharon,
You bring up such an interesting point. How much do we press on and how much to we let go? I admit that this has been a point of struggle for me over the years, especially as someone who is a teacher/planner/organizer. But I have learned that so much of what happens to me in life comes cloaked in mystery and definitely in some "Other" kind of timing and plan.

But I firmly believe it does not mean that we lay down for all of it -- make no effort. We must do our part and surrender the rest. It is a fine act of discernment to know when that is. :-)

I know you know of which I speak because you have found yourself in this place for quite a long time now...this place of discernment. And waiting is not easy by any means. I guess that's why ALL the spiritual traditions of the world believe patience is a virtue.

As always, blessings to you!

Rose - The Center of My Self said...

I'm a big-time truster. Some would even call me naive; my brother calls me Pollyanna. My saying: Everything always works out. And it always does, just not always the way we think it will. Of course, I also live by the mantra "Receive what you are given." No fighting it, but rolling with it and seeing what blessings and grace present themselves within the unexpected.
I'm sooo thrilled that the right place became available to you under the exact right circumstances, with very little adjustment in expectations even necessary. WOW! It makes me just so happy for you!
PS. I've missed visiting you sooooo much; darned job - lol! And I wanted to let you know that I had your book on my Amazon wish list and my brother gifted it to me for my birthday! Looking forward to a cup of tea and an afternoon of pleasurable reading. Hugging you ...

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Jan .. did I tell the Owner Rent Being has said move out - there's an English Lady on her way over and that's hers!!

So pleased it's all worked out - talk about life working out for your .. how wonderful and I'm so pleased.

I must do that at the moment - "stay in the centre, where inner calm, faith and trust naturally reside. Breathe .. so I will."

Today is your conference day - enjoy it .. and I'm sure there'll be lots of excellent contacts there ..

Thanks Jan - always inspirational and helpful .. go well - Hilary

One Woman's Journey said...

Jan, first I am so Happy For You. Over the miles I send you a smile and a hug!!!
You are aware that I have to place it all in God's hands. This One Woman has a new small home in the woods that she loves and the city home is still on the market. Made a trip to the big city this morning. Will continue to take one day at a time and "breathe".
The quotes are so "true".

Jan said...

Rose,
So nice to see you here. It does sound like your new job has kept you very busy. Miss you too!

A big time truster. I like that! It's a wonderful quality to have cultivated. We sound kindred. :-) I've often been accused of wearing rose-colored glasses about life. It does have its advantages, one of which is faith...

I hope you do enjoy my book. How kind of your brother to gift it to you. xo

Hilary,
Thanks for the well wishes. I'll keep the spare bedroom open for you for a visit anytime. I do hope things are better for you this week and that Mum is comfortable. Breathe...

Ernestine,
You certainly are a woman of trust and I celebrate that. Even though you've had many ups and downs in recent years, your big leap to the country is full of grace--precisely because of your faith, I'd say. Enjoy the beauty...

Sharmila said...

Jan, I somehow missed this post in the journey lately and I adore these posts of yours so much! so, I am grateful my intuition led me over here tonight for another scan :D
I am so thankful for you that you are settled in a beautiful haven that has been provided for you "on the other side of trust" what encouraging words here! I definitely have trust issues and am still working through those but it is a process I am committed to and I am improving here. I'm learning to just stay in that 'open space' and to really uncover the underlying of what is surfacing. It helps me to change from the value to the thought to the feeling and then the action for a new lifestyle of courage and expectation for a kind and warming provision, even my own. yikes! To me this just seems so new to think that I could be favored upon but I know it will be, even now it is without me seeing. So, its exciting to read stories as you shared here and to keep the faith! ;) hugs to you and your lovely new place! ~Sharmila