Friday, February 12, 2010

From Where I Sit ~ Thoughts on Love

What's Love Got to Do With It?

From where I sit, Valentine's Day is right around the corner. I love this holiday of love ...

So before I headed south, I purchased all of my Valentine's cards and stamps because even though I was on the road I could not bear to miss this special day.

For me, it's never been about the gifts (though those can be nice). It's about the sentiment, and remembering to "officially" say 'I love you' to those I adore (though I do that all the time anyway).

I raised my three children with an abundance of love—especially verbally expressed love. Before falling off to sleep at night, it was 'I love you,' and they always answered back, 'Love you, Mom.' 

It started a lifelong habit.

Whenever we parted ways, especially when I dropped them off at school, it was 'Love you, Mom.' At the close of a phone call, 'Love you, Mom.'  It still is.

One of my proudest moments as a mother came when I realized that my absolutely pubescent, voice-changing son had no embarrassment about saying 'Love you, Mom,' in front of all of his gangly friends. He did not hesitate and didn't look one bit sheepish. He is now 26 and has never stopped saying it, no matter who he's with.

My beautiful daughters, too—now 20 and nearly 28. 'Love you, Mom,' is our ordinary sign-off and the highlight of my days.

When I thought of Valentine's Day and songs that reminded me of it, the lyrics of Tina Turner's song, "What's Love Got to Do with It?" popped into my head. In the 80s, I really liked that song, well, at least the way Tina sang and strutted it. I listened to her sing it again, today, this time on a You Tube video (here) and it struck me that she had it all wrong. Why hadn't I noticed this before?

Her answer to 'What's love got to do with it?' 

'Love's nothing but a second hand emotion.' And ...

'Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?' Wait a minute here!

True. Love can be difficult and painful. It can result in a broken heart. And I know that's what this song is all about. It's the tale of a woman who has been jilted by love and now she's protecting herself from being hurt again.

Like the woman singing the song, like you, I've suffered plenty of heartbreak in my life. Love lost. Love found. But I need to disagree with Tina (or the lyricist) about the answer to the question.

Love has everything to do with it. It's the only thing that matters. It's the only thing in this whole wide world that makes real sense—even when we've been hurt. It's the reason I get up in the morning and the reason I walk through my days the way I do.

It's all about love. Being the Love that we are sourced in, the Love to which we will return. 

No matter what is happening in our lives we are the human ambassadors of Divine Love. "God in skin," as I've been known to say.

I believe our essence is Love. This is what I taught my children, too. And that's why no matter what, no matter their age or who they are with—even if we are having a tense time—we still end with 'Love you.' Always. We are here to be the embodiment of Love to one another.

This Valentine's Day, let's rewrite the lyrics to Tina's song. 'What's love got to do with it?'

Our communal answer of 'Everything!' could rock the world. Cock-eyed optimist that I am, I believe that to be true.

And from where I sit, may I add, a big 'ole 'Love YOU!' to you for Valentine's Day? 


Calling all Floridians!

Just a reminder. While in Florida I am speaking at SW Florida's largest Women's Expo (Northport area), Saturday, February 20.

Also offering be workshops for women at Mystic See in Englewood, FL, beginning Thursday, February 18. I'd love to meet you there! Read more about these events ... 


Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Jan .. I can see where you're coming from .. my thoughts as to songs aren't too great at the moment other things going on.

But I did take note when I heard - that love began us, love is there for us through life, love is there to succour us .. and love is there at the end ..

We need to remember that each and every day and all the time - love is ... and as you say everything ..

Thank you for your big 'ole Love you to me .. and to you and everyone reading back .. be at peace .. Hilary

Anonymous said...

"All you need is love, love is all you need"...
That's the song refrain that pops into my mind. I raise my children with abundant love--the ability to share and receive it. To be generous with it and thankful for it. Huge lesson for myself as well (the receiving part) :)
I think love is truly what makes the world go 'round, is the answer to most any question, and is to be celebrated every day not just Valentine's.

Sharon said...

I was remembering the small gifts I used to buy for my kids on Valentine's Day, little bits to surprise them at breakfast that morning or at dinner that evening. As they got older it got even more important to me that they knew that I loved them no matter what. Love is a constant with no exceptions. My every email, phone call, and visit ends with me saying, "Love you," and that's for now and always.

Happy Valentine's Day, Jan.

Brad Lundy said...

I am glad these words resonated. Reminds me of the Beatles' lyrics, which spoke so often of love being all there, or love is all we need.... Sending healing and loving energy your way today. :-) xo

That song was absolutely stuck in my head the other day! (See my response to Hilary.) We make life so complicated when all there is is the call to Love. Glad you are answering yours! xo

Love this sharing of yours and how "Love you" greetings and goodbyes always have a place in your heart, too. Enjoy the day. xo

Cheryl Wright said...

Hi Jan,

What a wonderful post!

I'm right behind you and along side you with this one girlfriend.

Love's got everything to do with it. Love's got everything to do with everything. Whether we are dealing with situations or people or whatever, love makes the difference - the wonderful, happy and passionate difference.

Love's got everything to do with it all.

Carolynn said...

I began to make a point of saying "I Love You" to people I feel that for, often and at every parting...just in case those are the last words they hear from me. I don't want there to be any doubt how I feel about them.

That said, I don't go out of my way to celebrate Valentine's Day. I told The Pirate he wasn't obligated to buy me roses on that day, when the prices are jacked up, just because the date on the calendar is the 14th.

I'd much rather celebrate our love for one another every day of the year. The days that haven't been singled out and hyped are the ones when those little gestures of love and appreciation are most deeply felt and feel most real to me.

I'm not a fan of Tina Turner and I've never liked that song. It's always felt wrong to me. I won't listen to it.


Kel said...

Hi Jan
I love you and your blogs, but have just realised the RSS feeds I subbed to in bloglines are not updating for either of yours. Tried resetting, but still doesn't seem to be updating. Wonder if anyone else is having the same trouble, or if settings have been changed here that mean i can no longer read through blogines?

hope you're enjoying the south :)

Jan said...

You put this even better than I did. Love has everything to do with everything! It seems that this is what our spiritual life path is all about...staying plugged into love for ALL of it! Hugs!

I appreciate your perspective here, especially about celebrating Love each and every day. I hope that we can, that we are. That we never lose sight of its healing power...

You know, it's funny, I discovered that what I loved about this song was the rhythm and beat of it. When I learned the lyrics I thought -- Whoa! And I do love Tina. She was my 80's gal....

May love be all yours today!

Jan said...

Hi Kel,
I would try and enter the site in two ways and see what happens. Something happened a while ago and I am not even getting notifications of comments on the site. Try and re-enter as (no hypen, no blogspot) and also Let me know how it works! Thanks for the update.