Many years ago, I fell in love with the work of Joan Chittister, OSB. She is an outspoken gal who doesn't mince words. You know exactly where she stands on any number of issues. Her column in the National Catholic Reporter, in fact, is titled, "From Where I Stand."
She's inspired me to reconsider the course and future of this blog. I created it last summer. At the time, I hoped to use it as a "teaching tool," to share what I know; what I've learned from wise others along the way. It's now mid-winter and in the spirit of reflection, I'm feeling change is in order.
I've made a decision. I'm going to do something here that I have wonderful intentions for but never seem to get around to ~ journal ~ on a regular basis. To simply share what is happening with me. What I'm noticing. What I'm learning personally. Where I'm rising and falling, drifting. The view from where I sit.
I hope you will continue to join me. Though, to honor my new creative projects (they need room of their own to breathe!), I'll likely be posting just one day a week. I also hope you will continue to share with me how your spiritual journey is unfolding—how YOU are rising, falling, drifting.
Here goes. I begin ...
I've been traveling. Gone from the "Nest" for 4 days, which often seems like a lifetime to me to be away from my beloved husband. Away from the silence I cherish. Away from the Bay whose depths hold my heart.
And when I travel, offering programs and spiritual counsel, even though I mightily love what I do, a big part of me is here ... on the couch, gazing at the gray/green liquid, listening to ambient music, or just sitting in the silence. Candle aglow. Yes, this is my life and I love it so. I feel so blessed to do what I do and live in a place of great beauty. Creativity flourishes in this place.
But I miss it terribly when I am gone. Sometimes I even feel a little sickly when I am away for too long. When I drive back home and can finally see the water, I feel like I can breathe again. I literally feel my heart open a little wider just by catching the view.
So I have this tug and pull in me. I love what I do (when I travel/work) and I love being home. Do you ever feel like this?
I'd be a turtle woman.
I'd be content wherever my sturdy legs took me. After all, I actually DO have everything I need to be perfectly well, happy, and whole tucked right inside of me—wherever I go.
But sometimes I forget. I get spiritual amnesia, forget to use my tools, and wallow a little in "missing-ness." Bask a bit in not being absolutely fine where I find myself.
So, me and my life are a work in progress. I have the intention to be very present wherever I am—and actually most of the time I am. But I never claimed to be perfect, nor would I want to be.
It's a blessing to be a human being in this body with all these lessons to learn. Perhaps it is even a blessing to forget, because in the remembering we fall back into the arms of gratitude for this life we have been given—wherever we find ourselves.
I hope you are happy today, wherever you are.
And, as always, I welcome your thoughts ...
(Image, "Turtle Woman Interrupted" by Jennifer Long courtesy of http://www.bookcrossing.com/artists/longdeherrera )
What I'm reading: Happiness is an Inside Job: Practicing for a Joyful Life by Sylvia Boorstein
What I'm listening to: Soundtrack from "10 Questions for the Dalai Lama" by Peter Kater. You can also view the trailer for this film there.