Take a Pause to Ponder ...

The road to wisdom? Well, it's plain

And simple to express:

Err

And err 
And err again

But less

And less

And less.

~Piat Hein, Danish poet

(Image courtesy of http://commons.wikimedia.org)

True Confession Time ...

I am not ashamed to admit that this week I have been stumbling and bumbling through being my truest self. May I share my process with you?

Here's why. My youngest daughter is away at college, five hours from where I live. This past week her off-campus living arrangement imploded. I knew it was time to find her "safe haven," a new place to live as her stress and anxiety levels were off the charts—has been for weeks, including sleeplessness and dips into depression, which does not bode well for study at a Big 10, academically rigorous school, nor good mental health.

As I navigated the dynamics of this move (long distance), including dealing with roommates and parents, legal issues, finding new housing as quickly as I could, not to mention my daughter's descent into despair, I was given multiple opportunities to practice what I preach. All my spiritual muscles were tested with this one. Each of the Transformational Truths was called upon. At times, I did well. Other times, I failed miserably. Here's the rundown.

~I "Honored My Body's Wisdom" by listening deeply and trusting what I heard: 'Get her out now! And do whatever it takes to help her feel safe and secure again. Forget what it costs. Move!'

~ I "Chose Thoughts and Feelings That Honored My Sacred Self" by discerning not to vent out my anger on roommates or parents, as much as part of me wanted to. I kept asking myself, 'Will what I say cause harm or help in this moment?' This is one of my tried and true practices, and if I take the time to breathe through it, I can usually come up with the kindest response.

~ I "Engaged in Practices That Nurtured My Spirit." I had to or I would have gone insane. Breath, stillness, praying with my beads, hot baths, reading Turning the Mind into an Ally by Sakyong Mipham, walking through my garden, and allowing my husband to put in his 2 cents worth because he is a pretty wise guy.  (Not to mention cuddling a lot, or was it hanging on to him for dear life in the dark of night?) And I baked apple crisp. :-)

~ I "Cultivated Compassion for Myself" by forgiving myself when I fell into despair, tears, frustration, impatience (even with my daughter), and anger. Congratulating myself that I didn't hurt anyone, or that I didn't harm myself (I don't think...). I treated myself as gently as I could, considering the circumstances.

But today I am tired. Worn out. The crisis has eased and my daughter has a nice place to live. Or at least she will shortly.

So today I am continuing to honor myself with a gentle day, a jammie day. Going slowly, doing just a bit of blogging. A nap will be in order later and another bath. I am blessed because I work at home and can do this for myself. So many women can't and we just keep pushing through the tough times. Then we fall apart or get sick ... That was my pattern for many years.

Which brings me to Truth # 6: I Experience the Divine in Everything and Everyone. I'm in the midst of this one. It's having some rough spots ...

I am going to wait for the blessings to come from this experience because I trust that this whole mess was in Divine Order. I am continuing to open my heart again to the roommates and parents because I know that they are people just like me who simply want to be happy. I have set the intention to see the Holy in them, just as it is in all of us.

I am listening and growing; breathing and being. My life is a work in progress and all will be well—all IS well.

Thank you for receiving and bearing witness to this transmission from my heart. It feels quite healing to have done so. What a lovely community we have gathered here! I am blessed — we all are.

As always, I welcome your thoughts ... 


(Image courtesy of http://www.nohairlossnow.com)

Choosing Our Thoughts and Feelings

The Third Transformational Truth:

I Choose Thoughts and Feelings That Honor My Sacred Self

On average, 60,000 thoughts a day run through our minds, most of them not of our own choosing. They are random thoughts. Thoughts about the past, overshadowed by worry or regret, or thoughts about the future, dominated by more worry or fear.

If we desire to live as our truest self, a woman who is naturally peaceful, confident, joyful, and loving, it is important that we develop a new relationship with our thoughts, as well as the feelings that accompany them.

We can do so by beginning to observe—simply notice—the content of these thoughts and where they lead us. We can ask ourselves: Does their presence take me into a greater daily experience of peace, love, or joy? Or do these thoughts keep me bound up in worry, self-doubt, fear, or lack? Then, because we desire to live in an enlightened manner, we pledge to redirect our thinking.

To begin to track our thoughts, words, and actions requires one very important skill—the ability to access silence. It is impossible to get in touch with our thoughts and feelings if we cannot get quiet enough to listen. We must begin to clear out our mind clutter and create room for peace, love, and joy to dwell. For this very reason, periods of silence-infused solitude are vital to our life journey.

One of the most effective methods for working with our thoughts is through the practice of journaling. It is one of the best ways I know to look at what is being said within our mind. Journaling offers a powerful opportunity for self-reflection and self-correction. Once we have taken note of our thoughts, we can tell the truth about ourselves, and begin to remake our lives. We can set a powerful intention to live a new way.

The next step is to redirect our thoughts and feelings. We assess if we are living in alignment. Alignment is a state of being whereby our thoughts, words, and actions are “in sync,” each one in harmony with the other. Each builds upon the other to take us into an embodied experience of our truest self—or not.

For example, if we say we love others but speak badly or gossip about them, we are not in alignment. Our thoughts and feelings do not match our actions. In fact, they are a contradiction. If we say that we desire peace in the world but have feelings of anger, bitterness, or resentment toward others, we are not walking our talk. We are not in alignment.

We change this, we change ourselves, by noticing the nature of our thoughts, then consciously choosing only those that bring us into alignment with our highest desires—the virtues to which we aspire. This process is one of the highest forms of spiritual practice in which we can engage.

This is the call and the challenge being issued to us today. Are we ready to answer? I sincerely hope so, for when do, the world itself will begin to change for the better.

I'm curious to know where you are in the process of choosing YOUR thoughts and feelings. 

Do tell ...

Make a comment on this post and you' ll be entered into the next drawing for a copy of Your Truest Self. This is the final week of our Birthday Bash!

And Congratulations to Sharon of One Woman's Life in Maine for being the winner of last weekend's book giveaway! Hooray!

(Photo image courtesy of http://www.alcoholism-information.com.)

I Cultivate Compassion for Myself

The Fifth Transformational Truth: 

I Cultivate Compassion for Myself

I am committed to a vow I took many years ago. It’s a self-made promise to live more gently with myself; to be as kind to myself as I try to be to others; to befriend myself.

In her wonderfully supportive book, The Courage to Be Yourself, my dear friend and mentor, Sue Patton Thoele, writes of “befriending” in this way. “I believe it is essential,” she says, “that you become a loving and tolerant friend to yourself. Do you act as a sheltering tree in your own life? Take a moment to think about how you treat your friends. Do you express the same kindness and consideration toward yourself? Many of us hold a deep-rooted belief that we don’t deserve to be loved. “They” deserve friendship, but for some unfathomable reason, we don’t. This is a false belief. We are worthy of love. We do deserve our own support and friendship.”

(Sue, by the way is the "Holy Woman" who represents this Truth in my book,  Your Truest Self.)

I admit, for most of my adult life I have been generally unkind to myself. I’ve pushed myself beyond healthful limits to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor, employee, volunteer, community leader, and more. All roles I thought I should play in life to be a “good person,” to be liked and accepted by others, especially by my family, peers, and coworkers; to be perceived as successful, of service to others, and a contributor to the greater good of humanity. It appears that the majority of women get trapped in this pattern of behavior, too.

We can begin to be more kind to ourselves by making a decision to start befriending ourselves. Let’s make a vow, together, to be more gentle with ourselves. Let’s commit to treat ourselves as lovingly as we would our own best friend.

I’ve created a “Be Kind to Yourself” list of practices that can be hung on your refrigerator, the bathroom mirror, or your computer screen to remind you to treat yourself more lovingly, more gently, every single day. They’re practices that can nurture and balance you.

Honor your inner rhythm: Work when you feel like it, play or rest when you don’t.

Get out in nature: Allow its beauty and naturally calming effect to soothe you.

Nurture your body: Pamper it with massage, leisurely baths, aromatherapy, loving touch.

Eat healthfully: Consume as low on the food chain as possibly, especially fresh fruits and vegetables.

Move: Stretch, walk, exercise, dance, hike, do anything that rids your body of tension.

Soothe your mind: Turn off the TV, meditate, read inspirational literature, listen to music, engage in a hobby.

Laugh: Mingle with friends who inspire, relax, or rejuvenate you.

Breathe: Take time alone spent in quiet, breathe deeply and regularly, allowing your body’s inner reservoirs to be filled with calm.

Rest: A nap can be a sacred time, nourishing body, mind, and spirit simultaneously.

Connect: Plug in to the Divine as you understand it through meaningful spiritual practices of your own creation.

I hope that you’ll join me in renewed commitment to acts of personal lovingkindness. When we do, we’ll undoubtedly find ourselves being kinder to others, for self-compassion naturally breeds compassion for others. Self-love spawns love for our fellow human beings. Being kind to ourselves may just be the most loving thing we can do for everyone ...

Right now, in fact, I am headed off to a hot steaming tub for a good soak. I'll read for a bit, perhaps even take a nap. I've been "on the road" for a few days and will be heading out again soon, so I am renewing my vow by being extra kind to myself this weekend.  How about you? 

What can you do today, tomorrow, this weekend to renew YOUR vow to be kinder to yourself?

I'd love to hear ...

Leave your vow here as a comment on this post and you' ll be entered into the next drawing for a copy of Your Truest Self. It's still her birthday!

And Congratulations to Nadia, Happy Lotus, for being the winner of last weekend's book giveaway! Hooray!


(Images courtesy of http://www.telegraafhotel.com and http://itztours.com)

Are You Ready to Make Another Leap?

 I love the web and the world of blogging. I love how it connects us with what matters, don't you?

A dear friend just sent me the most marvelous invitation and I've accepted. It caught my attention immediately because it opened with a recent announcement from my guy, HH. Dalai Lama:

"The world will be saved by the western woman."

Gulp. Oh, yeah....

I loved this invitation so much that I wanted to share it with you. Why? Because it supports my belief that when we join together as women—heart to heart, soul to soul—miracles happen, personally and globally. It's also in alignment with why I created this site and blog: By changing ourselves, we (as women) remake and repair the world—Tikkun Olam.

And, best of all, it's free! I'm enrolled, and I thought it might be fun if some of you would enroll along with me. We can talk about what we learn right here, hash it out, hold the vision, and leap together! I know I am evolving even more rapidly these days. How about you? What is up with THAT?! It feels as if my skin is bursting at the seams!

It's a FREE online 14 week "Women on the Edge of Evolution" tele-series hosted by the Feminine Power Global Community. Here's the scoop:

"Over the next several months you are invited to participate live on the phone and over the internet in weekly dialogues that will explore our creative potential as women to become active and empowered agents of cultural evolution.


The weekly dialogues are a space for us to gather, and engage a conversation about how we might come into the fullness of our power, self-expression and active participation to co-create a better future for ourselves, for our children, and for all beings. And, of course, we'll be shining a light on the inspiring lives and visionary messages of the 14 women leaders who are presenting in the series.


This series, our list of extraordinary presenters includes: Barbara Marx Hubbard, Jean Houston, Elizabeth Debold, Lynne McTaggart, Marilyn Schlitz, Mary Manin Morrissey, Diane Musho Hamilton, Sally Kempton, Sofia Diaz, Rickie Byars Beckwith, Elza Maalouf, Katherine Woodward Thomas and Claire Zammit.


The dialogues will be held on Saturdays from 9:30 a.m. -11:00 a.m. Pacific Time. Each week, you will receive an email containing the access codes, and a description of that week's dialogue. You will have the option of participating in the dialogue by dialing into our conference line, or by listening to the webcast live via the internet. At the end of each dialogue, there will be a 30-minute period where we will take your questions and comments. Questions will be taken live on the phone, or via instant message if you are listening in via the internet. If you are unable to make it live to the dialogue, or if you wish to listen to it again, you will be able to easily access the recording online, or download it onto your computer and/or your audio player.


The next presentation in our series is next Saturday, October 24th featuring founding figure of the Human Potential Movement and renowned visionary thinker, Jean Houston, in a discussion we've titled, "Jump Time: Navigating the Shift Towards a New Future."


...Join us live as we weave a field of collective power and intention to transform our lives and our world."

If you are interested, just click here. I'll be on the phone line with you. :-)

The Pointer Sisters are dancing around in my head right now:
"I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it...."

~~~~~

Image: "Stream of Compassion" by Mara Friedman, from her marvelous website: http://www.newmoonvisions.com

There's still time to register for this weekend's mini-retreat. 

Please join me!

What: The Seasons of My Soul: Fall Themes

When: Sunday, October 25; 1-4 p.m.

Where: Inn at the Rustic Gate, Big Rapids, MI

Cost: $35, includes treats

RSVP: Call (231) 796-2328 or visit www.innattherusticgate.com

What we'll be doing: Just like the changing seasons, there are seasons to our soul life. There are spiritual Springs, Summers, Autumns and Winters, each rich with unique lessons and opportunities for journeying deeper into the Sacred. As we enter into Fall, let us gather together to explore the invitations of the season: harvest, gratitude, change, letting go, and turning inward. Enjoy an insightful afternoon connecting with kindred spirits through interactive exercises, reflection, quiet time, and journaling. Wear comfortable clothing, bring a journal to write in and a mat/blanket for meditation/relaxation.

Meet A Woman of Peace and Music, Dudley Evenson

Please welcome a very special friend and guest who has played an important role in my spiritual journey. She is also one of the twelve "Holy Women" featured in Your Truest Self,  Dudley Evenson.

She is a multimedia producer, photographer, harpist and co-founder of the independent record label, Soundings of the Planet. Dudley and her husband, Dean, along with the Soundings Ensemble, create the most centering, peace-inducing music I have found. In fact, I do all my writing to their music.

In Your Truest Self, Dudley represents the fourth Transformational Truth: I Engage in Daily Practices That Nurture My Spirit. When I met Dudley, I learned that she has a morning spiritual practice that roots her in peace. This is what she does:

"Before I even get out of bed, I do a set of eye and breathing exercises. Part of that includes fifty tummy rubs in each direction, along with eye squinting and rapid breathing. Then I raise my arms and offer a prayer of gratitude for all my blessings and ask that I may be guided to be used in the highest possible way during the day to help heal this world."

Dudley also incorporates yoga, affirmations, and a walk in nature. Today, she share her views on affirmations, how they work, and why we may want to incorporate them into daily spiritual practice.

 CD Giveaway!
Make a comment here and be entered into a drawing to win either Dudley's new recording of empowering guided affirmations OR the Evenson's award-winning ambient music CD based on the chakras. Two winners will be chosen!

HOW TO USE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU DESIRE

by Dudley Evenson

Listening to the radio recently, I couldn’t help but notice how sad and bad the news was. I felt a knot of anxiety growing in my stomach as I tried to digest the constant barrage of bad news hitting me. Bad news paints pessimistic pictures of the world, coloring the content of our thoughts, affecting us all.

How can we overcome the tendency toward worry and negative thinking so rampant in modern life? How can we harness the power of affirmations to manifest our dreams and improve our lives?

To support and understand what affirmations are and how to use them to create a fulfilling and successful life, here are some common sense guidelines that will enhance their effectiveness.

An affirmation is a positive statement asserting that the goal to be achieved is already happening. It is a declaration to manifest a desired outcome. This desired way of being may seem far from the truth at the moment, but amazingly enough, with repetition and focused intention, it can become reality. Since the subconscious mind processes affirmations and suggestions as reality, it is important be aware of one’s thoughts and constantly edit out unwanted negative suggestions.

The fact is, we are constantly affirming in our mind what we believe. We can usually tell the quality of our subconscious mind by looking at the quality of our life. If we are not pleased with our life, we must look at the content of our mind to discover how we have been programming our existence to meet our belief structure.

The word ‘mantra’ in Sanskrit means ‘mind protection’ for it is through the use of a repeated phrase, prayer or affirmation that we can overcome the rampant thoughts and tape loops that tend to control us. By repeating a phrase over and over again, it becomes embedded in our subconscious mind and then the creative forces of the universe rally support to make it happen. In the negative aspect of the repetition principle, we experience inner ‘tape loops’ or ‘monkey mind’ that constantly replay a phrase or thought that is not in our best interests.

Affirmations only work when spoken in the present tense. The subconscious mind takes things very literally so if you say ‘I will be rich’ you will never experience prosperity in the present moment. It will always be just around the corner, in the elusive future.

Speaking affirmations out loud energizes them. Speaking them repeatedly creates habituation. Though the actual statement may be different from our current circumstance, when we put our feelings into words, we come closer to experiencing fulfillment of our desires. With perseverance and repetition, the words become a part of us and before long, we look around and realize we are actually achieving what we may have thought impossible only weeks or months before.

When we take hold of our thoughts and use affirmations regularly with an understanding of how they work, positive change is bound to occur in our lives. When we can truly visualize and feel the reality of the spoken word affirmation, we enter into a cooperative contract with the universe to make use of this powerful tool to manifest our highest dreams.

Have you used affirmations and to what success?

Dudley and I welcome your thoughts ... 

And don't forget to make a comment here to be entered into the CD Giveaway!

Bio: Dudley Evenson and her husband, Dean Evenson, are award-winning musicians, multi-media producers and co-founders of independent record label Soundings of the Planet which celebrates 30 years of creating Peace Through Music. They are sound healing pioneers and have produced over 60 albums since 1979. They teach workshops on meditation, music and healing. http://www.soundings.com

Our Beauty Lies Within, Even the Dalai Lama Says So

The past few days we have been having a dialogue about the sacredness of our physical selves—our bodies—and our struggles with that. The common thread that appears to run through each person's response here has been one of deep intention to mend the rift between body, mind, heart and soul; to heal any woundedness we may carry about our physical form. I bow to us all ... Thank you for your transparency.

This journey into our truest selves is one of self-acceptance and, in time, deep embrace. And just last night, as I sat down to thumb through the newest edition of Snow Lion, I came across His Holiness the Dalai Lama inviting us (as women) to do this very thing.

In an article entitled, "Dalai Lama Emphasizes Women's Role in Society," he said:

"Women have more compassion and can recognize the pain of other people more quickly and better than men. For this reason, women should be involved more often in important decisions and should hold important posts ..."

The article goes on to say that His Holiness showed little sympathy for an obsession with outward appearances:

  

"Whoever is at one with themselves, doesn't need to undergo operations to their physical features. Whoever is beautiful on the inside, exudes that and will automatically be beautiful for others." 

I like that. I like that a lot. Yep, The Dalai Lama, he's my guy. ;-)

Reminds me a bit of something actress Rosalind Russell said many years ago:

"Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic."

I like that, too.

As always, I welcome your thoughts ...

And may you take joy in life this weekend ...

~~~~~

Weekend Book Giveaway!

Make a comment this weekend to win a copy of Your Truest Self  , as I am giving another one away. Remember, it's birthday time and I'm gifting books all month, so keep commenting!

Congratulations to Joy (She Who Basks) because she was randomly picked from all commentators on Wednesday's post to win a copy of Your Trust Self. Kudos, Joy!

And congratulations to Twila (Whimsical Mystic) who was selected by Mari Gayatri Stein to win a copy of her new CD, "Toward Wholeness." Cheers, Twila! Enjoy with our blessings.

(Photo of woman in mirror by Andrew Crowley for www.telegraph.co.uk.
Photo of HH Dalai Lama courtesy of www.dalailama.com)

I Trust My Body's Divine Connection

 If anything is sacred, the human body is.

~Walt Whitman

To be able to experience the Divine One moving in and through me in everyday life, has been a journey of many years. I remember feeling it as a young girl while sitting in church, walking through my grandmother’s garden, or lying beneath the stars at camp. It was a deep knowing that “surely God is in this place,” as the song goes. That Spirit was all around me, radiating through stained-glass windows, flowers, or constellations and, at the same time, within me, experienced through my body, if I would allow myself to feel it.

As a woman on pilgrimage into her truest self, I can’t help but wonder what happened along the way. Where did do we as women lose that divine connection we may have felt through our bodies as young women? Likely, it happens in early adolescence when we became overtly conscious of our physical selves. In our preteen years, we begin to doubt, even distrust, our bodies. Bellies and breasts are changing. We are being transformed into someone else without our conscious involvement or permission. Is it a wonder that at this formative period of our lives we begin to develop suspicion about our bodies?

Combine this self-doubt with societal and religious implications that our bodies are bad (a source of temptation), inferior (the “weaker sex”), and flawed (in need of improvement), and we have a good case for amnesia, forgetting our body as a conduit to the Divine. For centuries now, we’ve internalized these messages, so it is not surprising that most women truly dislike and mistrust their bodies.

From adolescence on, it seems, our bodies are not our friends: They are enemies we wage war against through diets, radical exercise programs, cosmetic enhancement, even surgery. We may believe that our bodies betray us again and again. They do not look or behave like we think they should: They gain weight; miscarry or are infertile; cyclically rage (PMS/menopause); sag, fall out, fall apart through aging; become chronically sick or ravaged with disease—all without our having a say in the matter. Who can trust a “friend” who acts like that? 

Knowing this, what a stretch of the imagination it is for us to conceive of our bodies as sacred! To believe they are magnificent containers created by the Divine to house our souls on earth. And, perhaps, even more important than this, that our bodies are a direct means of communication with our Source. 

Yet it is only through our bodies that we can have a truly intimate relationship with the Holy. Our mind, which can conceive of "God" through thought, is housed within our brain. Our senses—sight, hearing, and smell—provide the stuff of which our thoughts and feelingsabout the world are made. Our sense of touch, along with internal body responses—heartbeat and breath— attune us to the world outside of our bodies, alerting us there is something of significance there. Our lips give voice to this experience. Our hands and feet creatively express our understanding of this experience. Our bodies, therefore, are the ultimate vehicle through which we communicate with the Divine. This vessel, this body, is a sacred conduit for the flow of Spirit.

Jay Michaelson (author of God in Your Body) says that our greatest spiritual achievement on a personal level is not to transcend the body (as some spiritual systems would advocate), but to fully embrace it, to join the body and spirit together so we are, at last, whole human beings, not fragmented versions of ourselves. I agree ...

The journey into our truest selves is dependent upon our ability to realize that our bodies are sacred. For a number of years now, I've been living out the 2nd Transformational Truth in Your Truest Self: I Trust My Body's Divine Connection. I am healing my body issues and embracing this vessel as a wise guide more and more each day. I am learning to listen to it, honor its wisdom, and follow its lead. How about you?

Where are you on this journey to reclaiming your body as sacred? 

And/or how do you experience the Divine through the vehicle of your body?

I am eager to hear ...

I'll go first!

And be sure to make a comment today or tomorrow to win—yes!—another copy of Your Truest Self. I am giving one away right now. Remember, it's birthday time and I'm giving away books all month.

And congratulations to  Kel (Leaping Kangaroo) and Lisa (She Who Is Honoring Her Sparkle) who won a copy of YTS from last week's post. Hooray for you! Enjoy with my blessings.

~~~~~

Photo of "Festival Dancers"by Thomas J. Abercrombie.

http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

Hanging On and Letting Go: Some Wise Advice from a Whimsical Guest

Please welcome my dear friend, Mari Gayatri Stein. She's a remarkable human being—full of love, light, and laughter. Always laughter!

I "met" Mari when my husband and I were publishing Healing Garden Journal. I was looking for a cartoonist, someone who could lend a bit of whimsy to our life journeys. Since she lived in Oregon, we corresponded by e-mail. Her first e-mails were hysterical. They were full of loving "woofs" and "wags." And between the doggie language, were huge waves of love sent through the ethers. She certainly piqued my curiosity. I later learned Mari was a "dog person," at one point mommying 6 border collies.

Until Mari, I'd never experienced love through the airwaves. How was it even possible that words, heartfully penned in an e-mail, could blast open your heart? Well, it did mine. She modeled for me how to live with unconditional friendliness, openheartedness, and spaciousness—so there is room in your heart for everyone.

Mari is one of the "Holy Women" featured in Your Truest Self. She became a powerful mentor for me and many others. She represents the twelfth Transformational Truth: "I Open My Heart and Celebrate Our Oneness." I am honored to have her here with me today. I hope you enjoy this short story she's penned about hanging on and letting go ... And enjoy her drawings, too!

Be sure to make a comment, as there is a CD Giveaway happenin' here! See details below.

A HAPPY ENDING

Yesterday, while I was swimming my daily laps in the warm delicious water, I spotted a butterfly floating and flapping in my path. My heart picked up speed as I slowed my approach. I watched this magical creature glimmering yellow against the aqua liquid. With the attention of someone preparing to defuse a bomb, I cupped my hands and ever so gently managed to lift her up without damaging her wings. (I’ve tried this in the past only to end up dunking the fragile little being.) Tenderly and in slow motion, I set the tremulous body on the brown tile at the pool’s edge. (Fortunately, we were on the shallow end.) Perilously she perched there, her gauzy lemon-colored wings looked ephemeral against the brick tile. One mindless deep breath and she would tumble back into the drink. A breeze or a bird fluttering by innocently would bring her gossamery demise.

Time was suspended. I stood still, barely breathing. My lower body was ensconced in the warm womb of water; my shoulders shuddered in the thin spring sunlight. I positioned my hands underneath her. If she fell, I would be poised for the rescue, but this time I would deposit her further from danger — maybe on a bamboo leaf or a blade of zebra grass where her quivering wings would be fully exposed to the healing air. I considered trying to ease her up a little higher to stabilize her position, but knew that interference would not be to her advantage. Her wing might tear as a result of my good intentions. I have learned that trying to help is only beneficial when right effort is balanced with discrimination, patience and wise restraint, however awkward it may feel at the time. So I just stood there watching her hang on for life, while she fluttered her papery wings so subtly they seemed to brush the air with kisses. I shifted my feet and shivered but held the safety net of my hands steady.

Ten minutes passed, and again I had to resist the urge to reposition her, this time with the use of a dry bamboo leaf I spied within grasp. A short debate, and I decided in this case, less was more. I would leave it to nature. So with a pang of guilt, I resumed my laps, moving away from her before immersing.

On my return, I reluctantly lifted my head to see if she was back in the water or had flown away. I surveyed the water’s surface, submerged to my eyeballs like a crocodile to improve my line of vision. No lemon-colored wings in sight. She was free. Hurrah! A little victory bien sur. A warm swell of satisfaction flowed through me as I cut across the water picking up speed and kicking with abandon.
I was thinking: Even though letting go is the flavor of the month and the fashionable thing to do, sometimes in order to survive, we just have to hang on. The trick is to hang on while you let your wings delicately flutter and caress the breeze. Another reminder that I must continue to commit to life on a daily basis, and at the same time be secure enough in my faith to ease my grip, again and again.


Mari and I welcome your thoughts ...


Make a comment on today's post and you will be entered into a drawing to win her new CD, "Toward Wholeness." 60-minutes of guided meditation, relaxation tecniques, breathing exercises, positive energy, serene music. Read a review by Yoga Journal. 

Learn more about Mari at gypsydogpress.com. 

Mari Gayatri Stein's insightful words and drawings have delighted readers for over twenty years. Her whimsical illustrations and articles have been published in numerous collaborative book efforts, magazines, newspapers and journals. Seven of her highly acclaimed books were both written and illustrated by Mari. Her latest books, Unleashing Your Inner Dog: Your Best Friend's Guide to Life and The Buddha Smiles are stories about love, spirit and heart, doused with humor, irony and hope. Most recently she provided the illustrations for the children's book, Buddy's Candle, written by Dr. Bernie Siegel. Mari lives with her husband and their two canine companions on an organic farm and bamboo sanctuary in southern Oregon. She has a new line of whimsical greeting cards from Gypsy Dog Press and is currently working on a mystical memoir. Look for her new children's book Puddle Moon, soon to be released.

I Am Free to Live a Spiritual Life of My Own Making

 Don't be satisfied with poems and stories of how things have gone for others. 

Unfold you own myth.

~Rumi

Sometimes giving yourself permission to do something is difficult. Especially something that might alienate you from others. Or, possibly, change the course of your life ... forever.

Such was the case for me. In my late twenties, the spiritual life I was raised in began to chaffe. Around the time I started giving birth to children (especially girls), a late-blooming feminism showed up. I noticed a longing for a spiritual life that honored my feminine nature, my journey as a woman.

Enter Joyce Rupp.

I happened upon her book, The Star in My Heart, where she revealed her own search for the "Divine Feminine," an understanding of the Sacred that affirmed her feminine nature, and had a uniquely feminine face — "Sophia" —the Wisdom face of God sourced in the Hebrew scriptures.

I thought to myself, can you really do that? Venture outside of the box and seek (and hopefully find) an understanding of the Divine that is feminine, or embraces feminine values? After reading Joyce's book, I knew I could. She gave me permission to search. She was my guide and mentor as I launched a pilgrimage that was to last for many years—a pilgrimage into a spirituality of my own making.

This pilgrimage (as I wrote about it in Your Truest Self) entailed traveling ... "from Protestant Christianity in my twenties; through forays into Buddhism and yoga in my thirties; through the Goddess movement, Sufism, and Native American spirituality in  my forties. I made pilgrimages to sacred sites, walked labyrinths, meditated at ashrams, and danced on moonlit beaches with circles of women. It was a spiritual sampling of grand proportions."

Eventually, I arrived at a spiritual life that was solid and true for me. It is interspiritual, contemplative, as I am a mystic at heart, with my spirit firmly anchored these days in Buddhism (though I have a deep connection with certain aspects of Christianity). I hope there will always be room in me to expand ...

It's funny, even saying this here brings up a bit of fear once again. I experienced a lot of fear when I ventured outside the spiritual tent I was raised in and set up camp elsewhere. Relationships changed, doors were closed, yet brilliant new pathways and companions made themselves known. What a marvelous journey it has been!

So, how about you?

Have you given yourself permission to fully explore? To create a spiritual life that is rich and true—one of your own making?

And, if not, what holds you back?

I am eager to hear ...


P. S. Did you know that you can read Chapter 1 of Your Truest Self in its entirety online?
This is the chapter based on the first Transformational Truth, "I Am Free to Live a Spiritual Life of My Own Making," and the pilgrimage I took with Joyce Rupp as my guide. You can find it here. Just scroll down to the bottom & in the right hand column you will find the free download. Enjoy!

~~~~~

Make a comment here before Monday, Oct. 12 and you'll be entered into a drawing to win a copy of Your Truest Self. I'll be choosing two lucky winners!

And don't forget, if you wish to "formally" put your voice into the circle gathering here, choose a "new name" for yourself, and be listed on my blog roll, click here. All are welcome here!

What Does Transparency Really Mean?

Last week when I launched this blog, I invited you into community. It has been my dream for a while now, since the days when I operated a women's center in the late 90's, to be involved in a day-to-day community of "women on the path." I also invited you to take a Vow of Transparency.


Within a few hours, I received a soulful e-mail from a dear, blogging friend who expressed some hesitancy about taking such a Vow. Here's a snippet of what she said:

"I'd love to join you over there. I just have one question before I do. How are you planning to keep it "girls only"? I ask only because if I'm invited to be transparent, I'll be 'all in', no holds-barred, capital "T" transparent. There are things I'll be comfortable sharing with a room full of female strangers, but less so if I know men may be sitting just on the other side of the curtain, if you know what I mean. If it's a public site that's open to men as well as women, I'll visit and share, but perhaps be less open to being completely transparent.


I guess I felt that, in order to participate fully and, yes, be transparent, I first had to share my concern. The internet is a big place with little in the way of secrets."


I am soooo happy she told me this. Because, you know what? By her sharing her heart in this way, she was being—Ta-Da!—transparent! Open, honest, real.

She did so tenderly, very aware of how I might perceive her concern as criticism, or put a damper on my enthusiasm about this new blog. In fact, it did the opposite. It bowled me over with excitement about our possibilities here. Thank you, C, for your transparency!

C's comment also made me realize that I must be very clear what I mean by "transparency."

Transparency, to me, does NOT mean spilling our guts to anyone who will listen. It does not mean filleting ourselves open in front of others—just because. It does not mean opening ourselves up to the extent that we risk being hurt or criticized.

I struggled with transparency while I was writing Your Truest Self. I did not know how much to say, how honest to be, what to share of my journey because I am a sensitive sort, and I really did not want to be bashed or shunned. I asked my dear mentor, Sue Patton Thoele, about this. (Sue represents Truth #5, "I Cultivate Compassion for Myself.") This is what she said:

"Don't cast your pearls before swine."

Then she added, "Of course, people are not swine, don't get me wrong. What this means is be open and honest with YOURSELF, but don't put yourself out there if it's going to cause damage to your soul."

I loved that!

In my writing, I chose not to cast all my pearls, just a few. Just enough to make my point. There are some things that are just too sacred, too tender or raw to be shared. It is absolutely fine to hold them close to our hearts and nurture them, savor them, in private.

The Vow of Transparency, as I speak of it in my book is this:

Take off your mask. Look in your own mirror, in the privacy of your sacred space.

Take a good long look at you.

Your wounds, your patterns, your compulsions & addictions.

Also look lovingly at your gifts, talents, your wonderful heart.

Your honesty will heal you.

Truly, without taking this Vow, we may never embrace our truest selves.

So here is the deal. I cannot keep lurkers away, peeping Toms and Thomasina's who want to read about our "stuff," so share wisely. I do believe with all my heart that we are creating a safe, sacred space here. And this is what I will do to safeguard it:

~I will monitor all comments and edit out those that may be harmful.


~Right now, comments are open. If I have to change this to foster safe sharing, I will.


~Each morning I intentionally create a sacred space for us here. I light a candle, say a prayer, put on healing music. I hold you in my heart and thought and then I write ...


~You can e-mail me personally about anything at all using the Contact button and I will answer you. Your correspondence will be held in strict confidence. As a certified spiritual director/mentor, I am bound by code of ethics, just like a therapist or clergy member. 

Is there anything else, in your opinion,  I can do to support our Vows?

So, now if you feel up to it, and you still haven't chosen a new "name" for yourself, and wish to formally join in, please do.  Click here to learn how. Once you do, your name will be logged in (in the right hand column on this home page) as "Voices in the Circle." This list is in place of a Blog Roll.

If you do not wish to do this, that is absolutely fine. No worries. Read on, make a comment, enjoy good company. And you can still take a Vow of Transparency, on your own if you'd like! We will support you—1000%.

I welcome your thoughts ....  and your presence here. 

Love and blessings,

Jan
She-Who-Lives-With-Ease

It's Birthday Bash Month!

One year ago this month, the book I labored over for so long, Your Truest Self, was finally birthed.

The process felt as if I was actually midwifing myself, rather than a book. The writing of it took nearly 5 years. It pushed all my buttons, bringing with it the highest emotional highs and the lowest lows I've ever known. I drowned in self-doubt and flew to the heights with newfound confidence. In spite of all of this, I labored in love. And then there was birth ...

I adore this book and I would like to celebrate it's birthday with your help—and celebrate ALL of us who are embracing our truest selves. As you may know I define "our truest self" as:

A woman who is innately peaceful, confident, and courageous; 

generous, joyous, and openhearted. 

The key here is "innately," meaning—these virtues of the Spirit are our essence, our true nature, and it is only an illusion or cultural fabrication that they are not. We are made of Spirit and stardust, with a divine origin and destiny. The journey into our truest selves is the journey of a lifetime. It is about embracing ourselves as holy, whole and sacred, once and for all.

So let's celebrate that we are on this path—together! 

~ There will be book giveaways, plenty of copies of Your Truest Self, courtesy of my publisher, Sorin Books. (Thank you!) I will be giving away two copies each week!

~ Special guests. Two of the "holy women" featured in the book will be with us, giving away gifts of their own.

On October 12, Mari Gayatri Stein will visit. 

Mari is a whimsical artist and yoga/meditation teacher from Oregon and the author of The Buddha Smiles. The "Truth" she represents is: "I Open My Heart to Others and Celebrate Our Oneness."

On October 19, Dudley Evenson will be here. Dudley is a musician and co-founder, with her husband, Dean Evenson, of Soundings of the Planet, a record label dedicated to promoting peace and healing through music. The Truth she represents is: "I Engage in Daily Practices That Nurture My Spirit."

There will be more surprises, too, so stay tuned!

For now, I invite you to ponder this: 

Which of the "Twelve Transformational Truths" presented in the book challenges you right now?

Your answers will help me craft helpful posts for the next month.

The Twelve Transformational Truths in Your Truest Self

1. I Am Free to Live a Spiritual Life of My Own Making
2. I Trust My Body's Divine Connection
3. I Choose Thoughts and Feelings That Honor My Sacred Self
4. I Engage in Daily Spiritual Practices That Nurture My Spirit
5. I Cultivate Compassion for Myself
6. I Experience the Divine in Everything and Everyone
7. I Know Divine Assistance is Available to Me at All Times
8. I Acknowledge that Difficult Times Bring Healing and Deeper Wisdom
9. I Can Create My Life Anew Each Day
10. I Trust the Divine Timing of My Own Unfolding
11. I Courageously Live and Speak My Truths
12. I Open My Heart and Celebrate Our Oneness
    

I am eager to hear your thoughts .... 

And one more thing. If you haven't done so already, please read my post of October 3 and consider putting your voice in the circle by choosing a new name for yourself. You can read how to do this here.

This "circle member list" is in place of a Blog Roll, so readers can click back to your site to learn more about you! Thank you. 

May each of us give birth to our truest self! Happy birthday!

 ~~~~~

"Pregnant Women" painting by Steve Gribben.

Don't you just love this?!

Naming Ourselves & Our Journeys

If you are a first time visitor to this site, wish to "put your voice into the circle, " and be listed on my blog roll, please read this post. Then make a comment by choosing a "new name" for yourself as described below. That's it! Welcome to our circle of awakened women! (If you have questions or difficulties, use the "Contact" box on the site.)

We who bear the feminine qualities of compassion, intuition, and inclusion are called to awaken to our prodigious wisdom.

~Sue Patton Thoele, The Woman's Book of Soul 

When I formally open a women's gathering and begin to create a sacred circle in which all of us will feel welcome, I invite each woman to put her name into the circle. One of my favorite ways to do this comes from the Native American tradition.

I do this because, as Gary Null, writes, "Legal names are given, but Native American names are earned." Many of us on a spiritual path have grown out of our given names. We have become someone else along the way. We were born as someone's daughter, but, in time come into our own right as a woman—a unique woman with gifts, talents, and aspirations.

I have always admired the Native tradition of taking on a new name (though I have not formally done so myself). Gabriel Horn (White Deer of Autumn) writes about this:

"Indian names can be passed down, as western names often are. The distinction is that you are not stuck with one name all your life. This represents different beliefs about human potential, says White Deer of Autumn: "Crazy Horse passed on his name to his son, who took the name Worm as he got older. So, we can pass on names, too. The idea is that you’re not stuck with the name you were given at birth. In western society, it’s almost as if you can’t change; you can’t evolve; you can’t grow. From a native perspective, your name reflects who you are. White Deer of Autumn reflects what I’ve done. But as I go on in life, I may want to let go of that and take another name. I have that right. So, naming is the ability to evolve and change in your identity. I think this is healing, both physically and emotionally."

I think this is healing, too.

And so I invite you to put your thinking cap on and create a new name for yourself today. A name that reflects who you are in this moment; reflects your values, intentions, or dreams. 

We'll put our names into our sacred circle and get to know each other better. All are welcome here.

I'll start. 

She-Who-Lives-With Ease.

For so many years of my life, I have not been a peaceful woman. In 1994, all that changed when I became very clear about how I wanted to live my life—with grace and ease— not angst, stress, and worry. I had had enough of that to last a lifetime.

Today, my highest priority for myself is to be calm and peaceful inside. For when I am, my clarity shines through, my wisdom prevails, and my compassion moves out into the world. Not to mention I am one happy woman! And, yes, I do have my days when I am not living with ease, but now I have a healthy and helpful toolbox I can use to bring me back to that place of inner peace.

Using the form of a Native American name, who are you at this moment in time?
 

~~~~~

Image above of "Aphrodite" by Susan Seddon Boulet.
Learn more about her at www.turningpointgallery.com.
Text source: www.garynull.com

One Resilient Woman

As a magazine editor for many years, I had the pleasure of interviewing remarkable women—bold and brave, resilient women—women just like you and me. Today I invite you to learn about one more. She has much wisdom to share.

Caryn Mirriam-Goldberg is a special guest today at my other blog, Awake Is Good. She is the author of The Sky Begins at Your Feet, a glorious tale of surviving and thriving through breast cancer.

She's giving away a copy of her book, too, which in my humble opinion is a must-read, especially if you love women's journey stories as I do. And, believe me, this book is not a "downer" due to the subject matter. It is one of the brightest, most humorous, light-filled books I have read in a very long time.

So hop on over. That's where I'm hangin' today and I'd enjoy your company.

Blessings for well-being!
Jan

~~~~~
Image: "Rooted in Reverence, Seated in Spirit" by Mara Friedman. www.newmoonvisions.com